It begins on a day as normal as today.
After pains making ways for numb swollen legs. After chills, buckets of sweat, and restless nights. After my appetite became no more with every bite. After fatigue strapped me into the world of no achievements.
Body and soul viciously consumed by darkness, a growing darkness, a never-ending darkness. I can remember the shadows of the battle. Walking day by day, killing the last breath inside of me. Filled with the word of fear and uncertainty. Hearing its two syllables imprinted into my biography, black ink stain to scar the pages of my life’s history. Breaking and choking my hopes and dreams. Already defeating me it seemed.
The doctor told me, I have stage 4 cancer.
Its unpleasant sounds irritated my eardrums. Crumbled my pages, cluttered the margins’ of every page with “why me?” Defeat or achievement were the choices I had.
So I asked the doctor. ” Will I ever become complete, be me, be seen, be back to reality?”
In actuality with my fears of defeat I said to myself please don’t let this be me, a body filled with disease.
Not right now in the moment of reaching achievements.
Not right now in the time of my own ACT’s.
You wanna know what the choices I had done for me. The key was to either to begin to accept or look forward to the defeat in the death-bed that was waiting for me.
Do you understand, defeat was all my story was supposed to be, but read on.
Struggle that could have ended with rest in peace bended and I ripped off the back cover of the book and looked a long road to recovery in the eye.
I had to sit in the chair waiting for the toxins to consume me Seeing the nurses telling me its okay.
How the hell you’re gonna tell me its ok while wearing a blue suit for protection from radioactivity.
Knowing that one drop would burn right through me.
But being with God I knew I had the purpose to live, to give to survive and thrive for another chapter.
And I have the purpose to stand in front of you today.
Within three months the no more of cancer was almost complete. Never to lose hair. Never to lose taste with appetite. Never to give up on school. But this doesn’t mean others who haven’t had the blessings like me has not achieved.
Victory is the achievement through the long battle of cancer. Today I stand pure knowing the lord is with me.
I may be in my days thinking of recurrence of this misery. Me with the invisible scars left on the inside, white on white pages to stay remembered through each of my ages.
Now look at me.
Look at me closely,cancer never wanted me standing right here on my own two feet but I am complete and I’m still writing, creating rising action, characterizing my complexity and individuality.
So don’t look at me with only sympathy but with praise and happiness.
I am Keshawn Wilson and I’m a survivor.”
Keshawn Wilson – HHS 2014